Self-love. The name is in itself. What does self-love mean to you? Does it mean loving yourself and all of your attributes? Does it mean understanding your tolerance level? Does it mean masturbation? Does it mean accepting yourself for all of your flaws? Or if you're anything like me, does it mean all of the above?
During my time as a webcam model, self-love didn't come on a whim. I slowly needed to work myself there. I went from attempting to be a fully clothed model to full on naked and masturbation model. For some folks understanding sexual wellness can come from a counselor of a clinic and that's okay. Information and knowledge are good, no matter how it's received. It's what you actually do with that information that counts. For me, webcamming hit the nail on the head. I learned more about myself and my own sexual wellness once I took webcam modeling seriously.
So, I'm sitting here, thinking about my previous work as a webcam model. When I think about it, it was a glorious time in my life. I was able to cum regularly and get paid for it. Sometimes my fingers worked; most times, the toys did more than the job. I was getting paid for my self-love sessions, I remained stress free, in shape and for the most part, disease free. The amount of cum relief I felt after each session, was truly amazing. I went to sleep happy and woke up happier. I won't lie, I also liked the attention.
I masturbated with dildos, both glass and vibrators, I had a strap on and a blow-up doll for shows, I used the hitachi with and without attachments, and of course the rabbit. Squirt shows were amazing. Little did I know, that was actually helping me thrive mentally and physically. My friends thought I'd gotten laid. In all actuality I had gotten laid, I just didn't have a partner like they thought I did. I was leading this secret life, and I was glowing while doing it.
Now in the past, I'd masturbate, but it was simply to get my rocks off and that wasn't as enjoyable as it was once I was free of relationships. I'd spent most of my life from the age of 10, being in relationships. I never understood sexual wellness and what worked for me. But as I'd spent more time by myself and understanding me as I am; I began to not only accept myself for who I am, but I've learned to love myself, thoroughly. And believe it or not, that is life changing.
During my private times and even in my shows, I would often talk to myself and tell myself how great I am, feel on my breasts while holding the hitachi on my clit to do its job. The cum was explosive. My heart rate was steady and at ease. I had vaginal contractions with the explosion and an intense feeling of freedom. I began to learn how to do things on my terms. I wasn't bored, even for a second. When I wasn't working my day job, I was working my side gig and cumming while doing it. From the comfort of my own home. When the pandemic hit, oh forget it, I was in it to win it. The absolute best time.
I say all of that to share my own personal experience with sexual wellness, and perhaps encourage you to do the same. Do you have to be a webcam model to do it? No! But getting to know yourself as you are; is good enough. We often seek relationships without getting to know ourselves first. And because of it, we end up with failed relationships. We find ourselves putting up with fuckery because we haven't taken the time to understand our tolerance level and building boundaries. We even have gone so far as to make excuses for what other's do and dumb ourselves down to satisfy others. It's unhealthy; physically, mentally, and emotionally. Taking some time for yourself and doing what works best for you is what's most important for future relationships. Seeking a therapist is also helpful with digging in deeper into past traumas and helping you overcome them.
In the meantime, if you're interested in starting off with your own sexual wellness and self-love; here's a small site to start your journey to safe sexual wellness (https://lustful-finds.myshopify.com/). It's quick, easy, and discreet! I don't know about you, but I'm a huge fan of intimate sites that cater to specific items that I'm seeking.
No matter what you choose to do, just know that this journey of your life, is just that.... YOURS. No one can write your story. No one can dictate what is best for you.
I hope this helps!
If you have any questions, please feel free to comment!
xoxo
Diana
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